so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
