Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize