I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm going to jail i love you
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.