MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.