i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
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He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
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we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW