Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
