and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize