I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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