My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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