It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
