i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
All I want is dick and wine.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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