My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize