my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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