I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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