I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize