I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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