I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize