It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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