if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
