I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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