My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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