What a fucking waste of an outfit
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
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I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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