Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
