i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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