whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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