she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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