WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize