I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
