they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize