Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Drake has all the answers
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.