I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
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I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question