is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.