she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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