Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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