I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize