so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
