you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
