Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
