similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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