Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
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You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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