I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize