She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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