omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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