Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
