My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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