why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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