The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
