he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize