Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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