I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
