South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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