i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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