your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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