Those balls look pretty dangerous.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
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Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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